Life.

I alway's thought my life was defined.., Like i knew exactly what was going to happen to me from the time i was born till my death. But i found myself to be oddly mistaken about that. I never knew because i would always be online that, that would be where I was bound to found love. In the past it was usually like a childish game, finding 'bf' after 'bf'.., till you grow older.. and you start thinking about settling in and finding a meaningful relationship that would last you more than a month. People always talk about how bad online dating and relationships are, but they haven't had the opportunity OR the actual experience of it. You need to let yourself experience it at least once before you should be able to judge it. I've been doing it for years... I've had my "UP'S" my "WAY UP'S" and even the "DOWN'S" and "WAY DOWN'S".

Having an online relationship, is built completely on TRUST.. If you do not trust in each other it will never work in the long run.. If that is what your looking for.

In my personal experience I've been so completely mentally abused, and from the guy i thought i wanted to be with till the day I died.. But i was sadly mistaken. I was abused beyond repair.. although none of it was physical, the damage was there. From the end of that.. it would all be things like 1 day... or a week... half the month..., nothing with any emotion at all...; Then only recently.. have I found something even close.. to a real love.. it has only been a month since I've really only been talking to him, but something really just... clicked about him.. he managed to find a place in my heart, unlike any guy... even from my youngest age... this has just never happened to me before.. i feel like i can just 100% be myself and he'd love it! I asked him... "I never thought of myself as anything special. What did you see in me?.." he said.. "I saw you. As a funny friend first.. then i felt more."

I'm not sure, is it just me? Am i just lucky for once in my life?? Or is this just another heartbreak waiting to happen???

Well, whatever this is for now.. I'm lovin' EVERY second of it.. And i do consider him to be my everything.. He said he'd come with me on my trip to Italy next year.. for 2months.. If we still like each other by the end of the 2months.. we'll be Okay. (:

Intermission Video.

I don't remember if i told you he was moving back to PA., over the summer. which make's it not as bad since i cn rive now.. lol. I just found out that... also, one of his buddies will be moving in with him, so it might be a bit on the awkward side to meet him in pa for the first time. Man, my thought's are running and my mind wont settle!!!! Maybe once i meet him.. It won't be so bad! (: I'm way to excited to. I haven't been this happy since..... I thought i was in love for the first time ever. >_>; Well... I love my baby, b., MORE. :D.., and it'll be even better then ever. hehe, especially since i can drive now. :).

thats al for tonight, ill update u soon. :)